mindfulness

I’ve touched a couple of times on the fact that I’m working more on meditation and mindfulness, and working on being more present. During the lockdown, I several apps decided to put up free content or offer memberships to trial them, and one of them was Headspace. Since then, they’ve done a Netflix series, and they’ve extended their app, but I’ve got some favorite features.

Sleepscapes

Hands down, by far and away, my favorite aspect of the app is their Sleepscapes. They are 45 minute guided meditations/mindfulness exercises to fall asleep. I’ve enjoyed all of them so far, but my favorites are the Midnight Laundrette, The Slow train and the Lighthouse. They’ve got a few ASMR guided meditations, and the latest update added some extra features.

The daily rundown

A new feature they’ve added recently is a daily plan you can follow. The Wakeup is part of my day already, but they’ve added extra – I like that it’s showing me more of the things are available – from meditations and courses to focus music. You can check out the app for a trial period, at Headspace. Watch “10 Minute Relaxing Deep Sleep Sleepcast and Sleep Story: Midnight Launderette” on YouTube

Live, Thrive, Survive with Bipolarbears - Live, Thrive, Survive with Bipolarbears - text by Kai

If I’m not careful, I get to be very opinionated about labels and stuff. I was going to do ‘why it’s dumb that most bipolars are being reclassified as borderline’ but…I’m grabbing for any positive posts I can make. Though, to be fair, because of how I describe some of this stuff, I suspect this one might come off as slightly opinionated too…

A human BEING

I get really annoyed with some of the meditation challenge stuff that I read that says ‘to be in the moment you have to be a human BEING, not a human doing.’. It’s actually true though. Mindfulness, at it’s core is being as present as your brain allows it, in the moment you’re experiencing. It’s about making and keeping memories, not dwelling, not allowing pain to overwhelm you and building a better way to handle the ‘world’ in general. And I know why it annoys me so to talk about being versus doing.

What does it mean anyway?

Mindfulness sometimes means, for me at least, not to switch to automatic when I’m doing something. To pay attention and note, not only differences, but the good things I enjoy about experiences. And, in being present in moments, finding the courage to face harder stuff, by remembering the lessons of ‘being in the moment’ otherwise. That it passes.

Time however, even when being instead of doing, sometimes gets the upper hand

I can tell when I’ve not got the spoons to do a being versus doing exercise when it drags ON and ON and ON. I like meditating. I struggle sometimes, and I’ve been known to do things on autopilot when I shouldn’t, but lately, meditating has been hard. Being in the moment, moreso. I know some of it is to do with the process of grieving, after losing my grandmother mid-February, and I know some of it is about the fact that I know that it’s not going to be pleasant if I follow the trajectory that I’m on, because I don’t do well with what comes next. But as I’m more about being in the moment, I’m trying not to think too far ahead.

Being though is more than…well…being

One of the concepts I think I scrabble with, and may talk about more, who knows, is that ‘being’ isn’t just about the act of staying present. It’s more than that. I’m learning that through mindfulness and meditation. I’ll need to keep talking about it, I guess, but I’d love your thoughts.

Tomorrow I’m doing C for CPTSD, but how about we just be, today?

(Featured image on this post was the first picture I took of our beach at the Hotel in the Dominican where we stayed in 2018. And honestly, feels like a lifetime ago. It’s also the tree I did my final mindfulness mediation under before heading back home at the end of what was an incredible holiday)