The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai
D is for Dancing in the Rain #atoz2022
The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai
C is for #Covid #atoz2022 #mondayblogs #ukpolitics
The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai
Catching up
The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai
A is for Alive, in a sense…#atozchallenge2022
The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai
The two pink lines we didn’t want… #mondayblogs #rungirlrun
The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai
A 2021 retrospective…a bit late ;) #mondayblogs #yearinreview #lifetheuniverseandakitchensink

I got nothing done…
I think the first thing to acknowledge is that personal goals wise, I’m not further visibly forward, but I did a lot of…I guess it’s ‘behind the scenes’ work. I did have a quieter, calmer year in some ways. Supporting the kids, supporting my partner, and trying to plan for what comes next. I think that though I did very little, overtly, there were a tonne of really great conversations that eventually led myself and my business partner to something we’re working on now, which we’ve tagged ‘AOK’.Goals wise, too, I didn’t published a dammed thing last year, and only really rebooted this blog about three months ago. I’m still working through how best to handle all of that, if I’m honest, but what I do know is that I’m a lot happier now with most of the things I write, when I write them.
I did start a Substack.
But, because I got ‘nothing’ done, I spent a lot of time with my family. I have regulated my sleep schedule a lot better, though I do sometimes need to switch to LA time to do some stuff, it’s not frequently expected of me. I’m sure next year may change that, but it’s ok. Mostly I’m just grateful for the space to think and spend time with my partner, son and daughter. We bought a Cricut so my daughter and I are still into doing crafty things, we all go out to get photos of stuff, we got to do the UK Games Expo this year…it’s all been really good and really comforting in many ways. None of us have gotten really sick, nor have we caught CV19, but we’re all fully boosted now, and flu shots to boot. We’ve been very lucky.
I did lots for clients….
So, I’ve said ‘I got nothing done’ but equally, it’s been an ok year for getting work done for clients. From tomorrow, I’m developing something that cuts back on the clutter for one client so it ‘just works’ and building sites for two others. It’s all looking really solid. I learned Divi a lot more, I’ve been upskilling both for my business and for my uni stuff and I’ve had a lot of fun along the way. I love coding, but I love solving puzzles more.I (started to) heal a bit…
I think it’s fair to say this year I got on with the rather hard work of starting to heal. I’ve not had an exactly bad life, but I’ve been through a fair few really bad scrapes and my mental and physical health are kinda dented for it. I do totally think I’m dealing with some form of adrenal issue right now, though I’m also quite worried I’m anaemic again, but most of what I did was read, learn, sleep, and just accept that I can’t do everything, or work on starting to accept that. I laid foundations though for this year too – knowing what to do and when to do it hasn’t been the easiest thing for me, but I’m working in advance with a lot of my stuff now and though I sometimes bounce off deadlines, I’ve met quite a few too.in July, I was discharged from therapy. I’ve done everything I could with them, my therapist was moving on, and instead of getting used to another stranger, given the current pandemic based restrictions, we decided that it was best just to close my file and move on. I can go back if I need to.
And I took up more exercise
Last year, I was just starting Mount Fuji. I completed that and went on to do Giza, Petra, Everest and started The Great Wall of China. In total, I walked about 540km, based on my Fitbit tracking.I started walking outside by myself too. Didn’t last long, but will be coming back. In November, I went for a Ludosport Discovery session, fell in love with the sport and have now completed enough form 1 training that I can duel, and did for our closing session of the year, winning my team three points. I was rather shocked I managed it. I think everyone else was too, as I often refuse to duel, or withdraw when afraid. I am dealing with a lot more panic attacks though, but we know why and we’re working on that too.
I read… A LOT
Because I didn’t get to do very much in the way of travelling, I’ve mostly adventured through my books. Which, if I’m honest, has mostly involved serial killers, thrillers and murder mysteries. My Goodreads year in review isn’t everything I read (cause I’ve got books I read through Netgalley that haven’t or won’t log yet) but it’s close. If you want to see my year, it’s here, but seriously, a lot of it is basically true crime. ? Some of it was also audiobooks, which I count.I think the two books that stayed with me this year though were The Book of Accidents by Chuck Wendig and we’re currently finishing off Leviathan Falls, which is the final book of the Expanse. And finishing the show too.
Wrote too…
I completed both Camp Nanowrimos and Nanowrimo proper this year, and in the end, it turned out that though it felt like I was pulling teeth, I wrote close to half a million in 4thewords, and another 750k in my various files. Not bad going but next year is going to be a bigger challenge. I didn’t publish anything that wasn’t someone else’s to take from me and put out there though.And yeah, then there was the ‘also watched’
We watched so many good things this year but I watched less in some ways than my family. And more in others. I had more true rime on in the background during the day, but I’ve watched far fewer programs, and have promised I’ll watch a few of the pertinent ones when we’re back at our usual spaces next week.Outstanding for me though had to be Loki, Scrubs (which we binged to the last season then pretended that one didn’t exist), Elementary, which we’re catching up on, The Expanse…you get the picture. We’ve started watching Titans season 3, The Witcher Season 2, and The Expanse season 6, and we’re looking forward to The book of Boba Fett, Obi Wan and more.
Gaming
Gaming this year has mostly been about my Switch and our PS5. We’re both having a blast, no pun intended, playing through Fallout 76, though each of us can’t play with each other as it’s not cross-platform. Been playing games on the Switch too, but there’s nothing of note that I’ve played, really. I enjoy Surviving Mars, but a lot of what I do is just play through stuff for a little bit, get listless, put it down. So a lot of my time has just been spent mindlessly shooting things, which I’m kinda good at.Meditating, self care, religion, oh my
I always leave this bit to last, so if people want to skip, they can.I meditated almost as much as I walked this year. I’ve found Headspace to be an excellent way of dealing with my sleep issues and the sleepscapes and I have become best buddies during the Pandemic. But we already knew that from listening to the stories Calm put out last year. I decided to stick with Headspace, not Calm in the end, simply because I got on better with Headspace. I’ve been home to my temple twice this year (which means I’ve been home to family twice this year) and moved my ‘I have to go do something, let’s go to my quiet spot) to a place nearer our current home. It’s not perfect, but it meets most of the needs of what my rules are. I’ve also enacted some pretty radical self-care, but that, and some other stuff will be in the books, in the new Year. I’m sure I’ve missed tonnes, but I’ll be honest, I’m still not sure this year was actually a full year if that makes sense. Time isn’t right still, not since the interminable but necessary lockdowns, and we’ve been working through as much of being present and grateful as we can, but I’ll also be real about this, a bit of me is still sobbing away in the corner that something so horrible is ongoing.
I may write on that later, but I’m healthy, I’m here, I’ve picked up some new skills and hobbies and though I lost my gran, as a family, we’ve been far more blessed than we could have expected, so really, I can’t complain. How was your New Year?
The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai
When she sing, she sings “Come home” #mondayblogs #rungirlrun

Tomorrow morning, I’ll be heading to my temple, called Goddess Falls. It’s known as another name in Edinburgh, but I’ll be taking my lightsaber with me in the morning.
Travelling, thinking, going home
We’re hoping that we get to go (so, either this’ll be going out as I’m on the road – in fact, I should be just getting to our end destination), and my tradition is to think and write and make notes, and hope that nothing goes wrong while I’m out of touch. Maybe do a bit of crochet, which I’m teaching myself. Mostly though, today is a holiday. So Joyous Yule, may the wheel bless you as it turns, if you celebrate. And Merry Christmas/Happy holidays too!And books?
Every week, I talk about putting out books, about editing, but I’ve been slow. Really slow, so I’ll keep trying but honestly? Pressure has never been my friend, but I’ve got to start moving on with my books. So, I’ll be thinking about that too while travelling. We’ve got little TV trays for our knees, so I’ll be travelling with one of them, my diaries, and my surface. Just in case. Going home though… it is in my bones. I’m a Gaelic gal to the core, to the point that I feel home in my very soul. I bring a little bit of it back every year for my shrine.Today also marks the 25th year of being a standing High Priestess. Solitary, but still… it means this year I think I’ll be talking about my beliefs, my dreams, and what I’m doing it with my books to honour that stuff.
But…regardless. I hope your Christmas period is good. I hope you see those you love. I hope you get to spend time with your family. I’ll be taking time out with mine.
The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai
Advance/retreat #mondayblogs #mentalhealth #rungirlrun

Then, there’s the added pressure
I keep saying this, and the more often I say it, it feels like I’m minimizing what is going on, but it often feels like the things that I take on are always looked at to see if they’ll benefit others.I’ve spent the last haze of days talking about various things with various friends, but the overriding sets of conversations have been in three categories. One, insulting, and asking why I’m doing (x). They’re being removed from my life.
The second, which is also the least of the interactions I’ve had, have been encouraging.
And the third?… It seems to come up more and more, but I’ve spent the last six months or so telling people ‘no’. No to coming with me when I go to projects. No to visiting with us for now. No to introducing people to other people.
The power of ‘and’
I’ve been looking at the fact that I keep saying that ‘they don’t mean to do this.’. I’m telling them no, they’re arguing, they don’t mean it vs, I’m telling them no, they’re arguing, they don’t mean it and it hurts me.The ‘and it hurts me’ is the bit that really gets me though. I’m not sure how to get passed or around that, but I’m thinking about that.
And isn’t any more of an excuse than ‘but’. It feels like it, though it’s more about making things sit right with me. Because honestly? My life is about how I survive it. If I need and, but, however, and other mitigations and codicils to forgive people because they don’t see things my way (because maybe, just maybe, I’m wrong). Regardless, sometimes I find it hard.
It’s not all bad. The power of and got me to various projects that I’m really loving and starting a new blog, and re-evaluating a lot of the time I’m spending with myself. It does feel very much like advance and retreat though. Two steps forward, four back. And honestly? That’s therapy, I guess?
And…and Ludosport
The power of and got me to continue Ludosport. I’m reactive, on edge and tired and I’m learning a new set of skills. I’m exhausted every night we train, and I’m losing weight. There’s a few things I can’t really get my head around, like the fact that I’m having nightmares (triggers, aren’t they … just wonderful), and that’s interfering with my sleep. I don’t blame any of the people training me – in fact, as long as I keep telling myself ‘and it’s ok’, I’ll hopefully learn to sit with the things triggering me.Wanna see my lightsaber? ?
Not a euphemism ? And see me?All shared below ?
The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai
What was that whoosh? Oh, November? #mondayblogs #rungirlrun #nanowrimo #ludosport

Oh, it was November. Wow, ok.
So, here’s the roundup, I guess.
New hobby!
So, normally, the big news in November would be my birthday, or Nanowrimo. But, actually, this year, the big excitement is Ludosport! My beloved and I (yeah, that’d be the guy in ‘a Nanowrimo love story‘) started learning Ludosport, aka Lightsaber duelling. Already though, I know it’s more than that. It’s a whole culture of support, care and honesty, and a really good workout. But it’s accessible too. I’m managing almost as well as the rest of the people training, and that’s even with my numb leg and nerve damage on the left side, it’s been great! I did a trial event in October, and we started in November, just after my birthday. My uniform and lightsaber blade is here, which I shared on my Instagram.Nanowrimo
I completed my 19th Nanowrimo, just shy of 85k. We ran the online only project again this year, at the request of HQ, and my region stepped up. They were awesome. Next year, for my 20th year, I’m looking forward to doing something special.Other writing
I’ve got Glass Block and several of my short stories back, so I’ll be working on them, and I’ve got copy and client work coming up, so I’m excited. Plus we’re getting ready for Yule, keeping an eye on the various variants in the UK, and hoping we’re getting to go home. How was your November?The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai