A day in the life

I’m still feeling pretty down, and I’ve been away for a bit. Plus, I loged in this week and discovered that the theme I’d been trying to pull together had gone completely pear shaped, so I’m running a new, possibly temporary one.
But it’s all new beginnings, which is really, quite a theme today. So. 恭喜发财 (gōng xǐ fā cái), may the seeds you planted make you the happiest you can be this year. I’m working on changing things, and letting go of regret. I’m not sure whether I can plant that and it’ll grow into something better, or if I discard it, but I do know that right now? New starts aren’t something I’ve really got the inclination for right now, but we don’t get the choice. So I’m embracing what I can. Books and more will be coming really soon, but I’ve got to get through some work, some uni stuff and more. But I’m hopeful things are getting better.
Imbolc for me though is about planting and tending seeds. Which I’m dealing with as I can. And I’ve got a few ideas for some new books. And hopeful that I’ll deal with the stuff that’s in my way. How about you guys, how are you?

The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai

A 2022 plan in the making… #mondayblogs #backlist #kailarks #rungirlrun

January 4, 2022 by Kai

So I did my retrospective. And I don’t do resolutions, mostly because if I did, I’d get into even more trouble than I’m in already. But, I do sorta, do plans for the year ahead.
I’ve split them into personal and professional, then split appropriately from there. That said, I’ll forget something, I always do. And it’s not exhaustive. There’s stuff I cannot post yet, like the planned visits to production and filming, if we do it this year. But here’s what’s on my current lists.

Professional

My professional splits down into three areas. Business and service which covers all of my formatting, hosting, coding and other stuff.
Passive income and professional writing, which is where I blog for my own blogs, or other companies and make money from it
and
Books.

Business and services

This one is a bit complex, cause anything I commit to has to also go through my business partner, but she and I are planning:

Hosting for writers and PhoneixFormatting online and running a booking calendar. HFW runs hosting and code design, wordpress management and more, while PF is where we format pretty books. 😉 Like, really pretty, you could fall in love with them, books. Which is great, cause that’s what every author wants.
AOK and IT up and running. These are keyworded projects, because we’re still sorting them out. They should feature lots of indie stuff.
Stuff for writers and my marketing/tutorials site back online and feeding to various places, in both my professional commitments and my own sites.
Having a solid plan for everything we’re doing going forward that’s reasonable and meetable. Both of us have health challenges, so it’s one of those…. “gotta do it, but HOW” conversations.
Teach at least six classes and have two masterclasses running happily by year end

Passive income/pro writing

Again, this is a bit of a hard one. I’m managing editor on one site, so I’m responsible for rounding up the writers. 😉

All commitments to story prompts and other stuff met and optimised. No deadlines missed. Currently that’s just Ladies Of Horror, but I want to add more to my list
Set up and run Indie Author Group (I’m managing editor there, so it’s really set up new guidelines, write up content and import what isn’t exclusive) and start my new column for Horror Tree. I’d really like to have 100 exclusively written articles not on my own sites by the end of the year, which is basically one every three and a half days or so, or two a week. I can do that.
Set up a few blogs for help with specific topics and long tail the crap out of it all.
12 submissions a month from Duotrope. Poetry, prose and articles beyond what I’m committed to.
Substack and Medium up and running and perfect.
classes – taught for a cost.

Books Totally not complex this one, but always seems to be the biggest set of problems. From people messing with my account to delays of my own making I guess this one is the one that worries me, professionally at least, the most. But is also the most important to me. I love being an author.

My WHOLE backlist reissued. My current count seems to be 31, with about another 12 books cancelled from last year, and probably another few that I could set up from books I’ve scrapped and need reworked. I’m calling it 30, cause some are giveaways too. So, 30 backlist. There’s also a set of … 15 I think short stories that I was doing over Nanowrimo that are ready to go, I just need to format them.
12 short stories OR novellas issued. There’s a group for this project, or should be.
3 series continued, one of which has to be Darkness and Elliot.
6 n/f books written and published or close to published by year’s end, OR with a contract.
Signed with my agent.

Phew.

Personal goals

My personal goals are a lot more ephemeral and don’t really break down into anything approaching organised.

More Ludosport – I don’t know how long a form takes to graduate from, but I’d like to be all the way to finishing form 1, and getting into Form 2. I want to be less afraid there too.
Body FX training too strengthen my core and have a bit of fun doing it
Enjoy more movies and games, and complete a few of them.
Read (or listen to, cause we use Audible too, but I only count it if I actually listen to the book and am awake for it as it also runs at night so we’ve got some form of white noise going on) 150 books (Goodreads challenge)
Not break my streak on 4thewords
20th year Nanowrimo, both Camp Nanowrimos and 2 million words total in writing (that is sorta a professional goal too).
Declutter and organise the house better
Set up the office the way I want it to be set up
Say yes to good things more often rather than think ‘I can’t’ because I’m exhausted, so rest up and get ready for some fun!

Again there are others. We’d like to travel again, but only if it’s safe. I’d love to do Steelcon again, and I’d love to go to a Games Day too. I’d also love to have a baby with my beloved but they’re pretty much aspirational and up in the air based on how the world continues to behave over the coming year. Covid and it’s vaccines aside, I do have to wonder if the radical changes people don’t like are as bad as they believe. I’m struggling with some of them, sure, but if it’s to keep others safe, cool. And that’s my final one. Keep myself, my communities, my family and friends and others safe, keep paying it forward, and keep swimming and lifting others where I can. And continue working on my therapy, as it’s gotten me a long way last year and I’m sure that’ll continue. Next post, in a few days, will be about the actual places I’m working/writing and announcing everything. Calendars need set up and discussions with my amazing business partner, Brianna Hawthorne, need to take place before then, but we’ve got a lot planned. We just need to work out what we’re doing and how, and finish planning.

The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai

Advance/retreat #mondayblogs #mentalhealth #rungirlrun

December 17, 2021 by Kai

When I was discharged from therapy, I knew there were going to be times I went a bit off track. What I didn’t expect was one of the things that I’m enjoying – a lot – was going to be the thing that totally destroyed me this month. I’m not saying either that it’s actually about the people at the group I’m participating in. In fact, I think they’re making it easier on me, and instead of things being unbearable and stuck, it’s just nightmares and stuff to work through. But being triggered is a really wierd thing. Mostly because I’ll be realistic about it – there’s no reason to believe that I’ll be beaten to a pulp, just for being me. There’s no reason to believe people will hurt me. It doesn’t change that not only does it happen, but it’s painfully obvious that I’m not going to get over it as easily as I’d like.

Then, there’s the added pressure

I keep saying this, and the more often I say it, it feels like I’m minimizing what is going on, but it often feels like the things that I take on are always looked at to see if they’ll benefit others.
I’ve spent the last haze of days talking about various things with various friends, but the overriding sets of conversations have been in three categories. One, insulting, and asking why I’m doing (x). They’re being removed from my life.
The second, which is also the least of the interactions I’ve had, have been encouraging.
And the third?… It seems to come up more and more, but I’ve spent the last six months or so telling people ‘no’. No to coming with me when I go to projects. No to visiting with us for now. No to introducing people to other people.

The power of ‘and’

I’ve been looking at the fact that I keep saying that ‘they don’t mean to do this.’. I’m telling them no, they’re arguing, they don’t mean it vs, I’m telling them no, they’re arguing, they don’t mean it and it hurts me.
The ‘and it hurts me’ is the bit that really gets me though. I’m not sure how to get passed or around that, but I’m thinking about that.
And isn’t any more of an excuse than ‘but’. It feels like it, though it’s more about making things sit right with me. Because honestly? My life is about how I survive it. If I need and, but, however, and other mitigations and codicils to forgive people because they don’t see things my way (because maybe, just maybe, I’m wrong). Regardless, sometimes I find it hard.
It’s not all bad. The power of and got me to various projects that I’m really loving and starting a new blog, and re-evaluating a lot of the time I’m spending with myself. It does feel very much like advance and retreat though. Two steps forward, four back. And honestly? That’s therapy, I guess?

And…and Ludosport

The power of and got me to continue Ludosport. I’m reactive, on edge and tired and I’m learning a new set of skills. I’m exhausted every night we train, and I’m losing weight. There’s a few things I can’t really get my head around, like the fact that I’m having nightmares (triggers, aren’t they … just wonderful), and that’s interfering with my sleep. I don’t blame any of the people training me – in fact, as long as I keep telling myself ‘and it’s ok’, I’ll hopefully learn to sit with the things triggering me.

Wanna see my lightsaber? 🙂

Not a euphemism 😉 And see me?
All shared below 😉

The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai

What was that whoosh? Oh, November? #mondayblogs #rungirlrun #nanowrimo #ludosport

December 6, 2021 by Kai

What was that whoosh?
Oh, it was November. Wow, ok.
So, here’s the roundup, I guess.

New hobby!

So, normally, the big news in November would be my birthday, or Nanowrimo. But, actually, this year, the big excitement is Ludosport! My beloved and I (yeah, that’d be the guy in ‘a Nanowrimo love story‘) started learning Ludosport, aka Lightsaber duelling. Already though, I know it’s more than that. It’s a whole culture of support, care and honesty, and a really good workout. But it’s accessible too. I’m managing almost as well as the rest of the people training, and that’s even with my numb leg and nerve damage on the left side, it’s been great! I did a trial event in October, and we started in November, just after my birthday. My uniform and lightsaber blade is here, which I shared on my Instagram.

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A post shared by Kai Wilson (@kaiberie)

Uniform. I’ll get a photo of my lightsaber and blade later.

I’m sure I’ll be talking about this a lot more in the next few months, but I’m pretty certain that it’ll mostly be on a new blog, called Run Girl, Run. It’s not quite live yet, but I’m going to be talking mental health, recovery, and growing physically and mentally as a person. It’ll be about how I find my feet, how I find my way back into the world, and we may even get to talk about extending our family, though, right now, it’s about making me whole. Holistically, I think that’s important, but I also think that it’s equally important to talk about it, and share what I can. Mostly because though we feel like we’re alone, we’re really not.

Nanowrimo

I completed my 19th Nanowrimo, just shy of 85k. We ran the online only project again this year, at the request of HQ, and my region stepped up. They were awesome. Next year, for my 20th year, I’m looking forward to doing something special.

Other writing

I’ve got Glass Block and several of my short stories back, so I’ll be working on them, and I’ve got copy and client work coming up, so I’m excited. Plus we’re getting ready for Yule, keeping an eye on the various variants in the UK, and hoping we’re getting to go home. How was your November?

The blog of D Kai Wilson - The blog of D Kai Wilson - text by Kai